I was saved in 74 and until 2003 I always desired to be obedient but never seemed to be able. I backslid many times or was luke warm but even in these times I cried out to God. God changed my life in 2003, and I have grown much, and it is He doing the work in me, not me "trying" to be a christian ( so to speak).Lately,I have been struggling though, only seeing my failures, time wasted. I am disabled ( so say the dr.s) on Social Secruity Disablity ( so is my husband who is a Christian as well). We stand on 1Peter 2:24, but healing is not manifested yet and I am so discouraged. I am housebound, with no fellowship ( we do online fellowship and bible study), no family to speak of. It's just myself and my husband who has a harder time than myself getting around. ( I left the house 12 times in a whole year..that's it). We have no friends, no family, no Christian family)and it's hard. I ask God " What good am I, what is my place in your body...what part does this joint supply, what are my gifts, and how/where do I use them). I know the endtimes are upon us, there are many who need to hear and repent and I can "do" very little, and need teaching and fellowship myself etc. etc.Please pray that I will overcome this "slump" that I am in,that my joy will return and that I will see and feel that I have a purpose in the Body of Christ. I feel so alone, and feel like I have let God down, although I don't really know how I have done that, as I repent immediately when God reveals my sin, or I fall short. I love the Lord, He is Sovereign in all things, and I praise Him even in these times, for it is not what He does for me that makes Him worthy, HE IS WORTHY IN AND OF HIMSELF. I am just the clay and cannot command God or question his purpose...thank you for your prayers for me and my husband, he struggles too with many of the same things and also as to how to be a Godly husband and to fulfill his responsibility to me.God bless you all. See you in eternity, even though I wonder if I will make it to the end. I need faith to beleive that God is able and willing to make me STAND!